2018 is almost in the books. This year was challenging and awesome all at the same time. Looking back, it seems to me that 2018 can be sorted into two categories: good buys and goodbyes. Let's dive in.
I started a blog
This one falls into the good buy category. I had my husband take some pictures of me in front of a cool wall in downtown Lincoln while we were out. The next day I thought to myself, I've always wanted to start a blog, why not make it about plus size fashion and use these pictures for my first post? It sounded easy enough...but what would I call it? I wanted something that incorporated my name and the idea that fashion can be liberating. I settled on Adamsel in this dress because my last name is Adams and I'm here to smash the idea that there are limits on what you can do and wear. I purchased adamselinthisdress.com and have published 34 blog posts since July. My blog has been a great creative outlet for me this year. Check out my very first blog post.
Cheroo was my cat, my baby, my friend and my family. He was also an Instagram model in his own right. We’d been though a lot in the 13 years I had him. He survived numerous health scares and always found a way to bounce back for me. In August his health took another turn and it became clear that he would not be able to come back from his illness. I had to make the painful decision to end his suffering. When I knew it was his time I did not hesitate to do what had to be done, it was the aftermath that was devastating and incredibly difficult. I can honestly say I've never known grief like that before. I really didn't think it was going to get easier, but then it did. The horrible memories of his illness and death began to give way to memories of when he was happy and healthy. It has been 4 months and I still think about him every day and cry regularly. That's just how much I loved him.
I knew that saying goodbye to Cheroo meant that some other cat was about to get their big break. My husband and I visited The Cat House, a local no kill shelter, when we were ready to open our hearts and home to a new cat baby. It didn't take long for Donna to find us. My husband sat down on a bench and she immediately got up from the bed she was snuggled in and transplanted herself onto his lap and into his heart. She was the perfect cat at the perfect time for us. She was part of a litter that had been found abandoned without a mommy cat. She and her siblings were taken in and bottle fed by Cat House volunteers. A human mommy is all she's ever known. She nudged her way right into our hearts and has helped us heal more than I could have imagined possible. We are so totally in love with our little Donna. She is by far the best "buy" (adopt, don't shop!) I've made all year.
I said goodbye to my 30s in October with a quick trip to Las Vegas. I returned and wrote a blog about my belief that we don't actually get old until we stop doing, trying and experiencing new things. Keeping an open mind helps to keep us young.
Soon after writing that blog I experienced an ankle injury that really tested my resolve. It would have been so easy for me to quit my blog and stop pushing myself to get back on my feet. Obviously, I'm glad I kept moving and didn't stop working on blog projects. The injury put a serious damper on my fall blog plans, but it forced me to get creative about what I could do to keep the blog going.
An investment in me
After Christmas I was noticing all the crazy sales and decided it was time to invest in a legit DSLR camera to help take my blog shoots up several notches. My husband takes all my blog pictures and he has done amazing things with his iPhone camera, but there are limitations. Having a quality camera and a variety of lenses is going to allow me to do so many different things in 2019 that will help take Adamsel in this dress to the next level. I'm also excited to learn how to use a new camera and get more involved in photo editing.
Goodbyes aren't always bad or sad. Saying goodbye to the things that no longer serve you (and maybe never did) is a good thing. I'm not really into making New Year's resolutions, I much prefer steady and continuous growth to pulling a sudden and lofty goal out of my butt. I want to keep pushing myself outside my comfort zone. It's so easy to feel on display and annoying when you're out doing photo shoots. I get my fair share of snickers and looks while posing, but that's kind of the point right? I'm doing this because I know that I'm allowed to be fat and stylish. I'm allowed to be fat and photographed. I'm allowed to be fat and happy. I don't need permission to do any of this and I never did. To anyone who may be bothered and to 2018 as a whole I say thank you, next.